Having a baby is an experience that really brings you full circle in so many ways.  When they layed Piper on my belly for the first time and she looked up at me, I will never forget that moment.  It's a moment burned in my memory forever.  It makes me smile - it makes me tingly inside.  It's a WOW moment.  

Another thing I remember thinking in those precious moments after the delivery was I FINALLY understood a mother's love.  I realized that was exactly how my mom looked at me.  She had that same moment...but it was me she was looking at...and I feel so lucky that I got her.  As my mom held Piper for the first time right after the delivery - I stared in amazement.  I FINALLY understood how much my mom loved me.

My mom left yesterday morning at 5 a.m. to head back to Colorado with my dad.  She said she wouldn't be able to say goodbye...it would be too hard.  So, she packed her bags the night before and when 5 a.m. came, they were out the door.  She brought Piper Jane into me one last time before she left and I couldn't hold back the tears.  But, I knew deep down she was leaving because she loved me - I mean, she couldn't stay FOREVER.  Plus, I know she has the utmost confidence in me as a mother and I know she just wants the world for Mark, Piper and I.

My mom was there before the delivery, she held my hand through it and she stayed for 2 weeks after to help with Piper, cook, clean - and do whatever it is that mom's do.  She is always busy. She is a master list-maker.  Whenever there is a spare moment she'll exclaim, "Let's make a LIST!"  It's her favorite thing to do...and her next favorite thing is to try and get everything crossed off.  It's a constant cycle.  We've made so many lists together, I could make a never-ending list of all the lists we've made.

One of the biggest fears I had of her leaving, was I was going to have to put into words how grateful I was for everything that she had done for us...and that was going to be hard...almost next to impossible.  There just aren't words that will ever come close to the gratitude that I feel.  

So, I thought about Piper and how I would want her to thank me and I thought, hmmm...all I ever truly want is for her to know how much I love her.  So, there.  I did it.  Mom, I know how much you love me...and I feel so lucky that I got you.  Thank you. Thank you for being my best friend, for loving me, for making me a better person and most importantly, a better mother.

Piper Jane Strong • March 3rd, 2010 @9:56 p.m. • 6 lbs., 10 oz, 19.25 in.

It all started to become real at 3:33 a.m. on Wednesday, March 3.  That's the exact time that I sleepily picked up my iPhone to start timing my contractions - I could barely make out the numbers on the bright screen.  They were sweet little contractions...nothing heavy or major...but they were happening about every 8 minutes.  I remember waking Mark and saying, "I think today is the day."

            Mark didn't go into work that day.  So, we made a point to sleep a little bit longer and relish in each other a little bit more...it's almost as if our bodies were preparing for what was to come.  As the day went on, the contractions got a little bit longer and they naturally got closer and closer together.  

            The code was 411.  That was the magic number.  When the contractions were 4 minutes apart, for 1 minute, for 1 hour...that was our que to grab our bags and head to the birth center.  So, to pass the time, Mark, my mom and I played Banana Grams.  It's funny because I don't think I'd ever won a game until that day.  I wonder if they were letting me win?  It's sort of like a solitary Scrabble game, but you play against each other.  It's just bananas!  I'm not kidding. I don't think Banana Grams will never be the same and I won't ever play it without thinking of that most blessed day.

            By 3:00 p.m., we were loading the car and off to Ventura.  It turns out March 3^rd was THE day.  At this point everything was progressing quite quickly, my mom told me later she thought I was going to have Piper in the back seat. I didn't think that - but I remember wanting to have a few words with our lovely CalTrans about all of the darn pot holes on the 101.  Those could have been the end of me.

            The birth center was the perfect place for Piper's birth.  The midwives were the greatest support and really allowed us to approach the birth in the best and most natural way.  They had a tub for soaking, they encouraged me to eat and drink throughout the entire process and it was a very comfortable environment.  But, come to think of it, I only ate 2 goldfish during the entire 7 hours.  But, I was drinking Gatorade like it was going out of style.

            Mark and my mom never left my side that day.  While I knew that my strength and stamina was coming from a place far beyond the human view, I still needed them there...holding my hand, stroking my head and cooling my brow.  I remember thinking at one point, "Can I seriously do this?" And it's an all too familiar a question and I've asked it to myself many times.  I asked myself this very question every mile for last 6 miles of the Santa Barbara Triathlon, and every mile for last 6 miles of the LA Marathon.  But, you know what - the answer has always ended up being the same.  And I may not come to this answer until the finish line - but the answer is always an abounding - YES!!

            Painful, some may ask?  Well, is the sky blue?  Haha.  No, really.  It's hard to explain (unless you've been there) but it really was beyond what I knew of pain.  It was another dimension.  It's a place where pain was equalized by the highest sense of happiness, joy and excitement that I have never known.  It's a place of complete and utter surrender.  Surrender.  That was the key for me.  It's truly the perfect natural balance...God made it that way.  I remember looking at Mark during one of the final pushes and I saw him look at me like he has never looked at me before.  There was something in his eyes...it was a love that I had never actually SEEN before - I had felt it, but I'd never seen it so clear and so sweet and so right in front of my face.

            And then I hear, "There's the head - babies got blonde HAIR!"  Once I heard that it was a few more pushes and there she was.  She came out and they put her right on my belly, skin to skin.  I remember her looking up at me and we locked eyes.  Then she let out a joyous scream and I think I was too happy to cry.  I almost couldn't breathe.  She was beautiful.  She was there.  And the moment was all ours - it wasn't for anybody else in the whole world.  I looked at Mark and somehow got out the words, "Well, what did we get?"  He looked under the blanket and said, "Well, I don't see anything, so it must be a GIRL!"  We laughed, we cried, we embraced and praised God for such a perfect blessing!

We left the birth center about 3 hours after the birth.  My mom drove, I rode shotgun and Piper and daddy got to know each other in the back seat.  It was 2 in the morning.  Rain was coming down as we headed back up the 101.  My heart was full of gratitude and in just plain awe of God's perfect plan and I even made a point not to curse the potholes.